Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
