Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
