Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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