ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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