Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
