its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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