Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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