Swine flu is the new snow day.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
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I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
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All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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