her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
