I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize