I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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