Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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