cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
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Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
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I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin