Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.