I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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