that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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