Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
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The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
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An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize