my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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