Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
COCAINE IS GR8
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