Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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