I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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