I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
