do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
