Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
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Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
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I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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