I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
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