my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
