I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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