Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
