i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
