marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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