the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
