YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
