bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
