this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
