I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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