glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
