so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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