what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
