I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
