Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize