The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
