its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
