So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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