I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
it's like heaven, but drunker
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
