i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
my god I love twenty year old dicks
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
