just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Randomize
