Ambien. No doubt about it.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
