I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
