I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
