Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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