So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
