she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
