Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
