Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
