lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize