she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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