So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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